


The Beginning and The End

by sevenlilacs



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 3
Genre: Blood and Violence, Canon Character(s) Mentioned Only, F/F, Fallout 3 Main Plot Spoilers, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:15:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27860630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevenlilacs/pseuds/sevenlilacs
Summary: A simple mission takes a turn for the worse when gunmen ambush the Lone Wanderer and her small group outside the ruins of Washington D.C. Forced to choose between the love of her life and the life of an innocent, Belle makes some not-so-heroic decisions and is confronted with the aftermath much quicker than she would have thought. Written for the 2020 Fallout Bang Event hosted by @chaosintheavenue and in collaboration with @bigmoodquotes on tumblr who created an art piece for this story!
Relationships: Female Lone Wanderer/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

_Jenna's POV:_

“I don’t trust her.” Belle crossed her arms and glared across the room at the sleeping girl.

“Oh, here we go again,” Jenna sighed, taking a seat next to her fiancée, her own arms extending towards the campfire’s dwindling heat. “She’s fine.”

Belle sat up straight at this, hands bunched into fists. “Fine?! We found her in a room _filled with bodies!_ ”

True enough. Their newest addition had been huddled under the staircase in what they had assumed was just an empty old church a few miles or so outside the ruins of Washington D.C. They never could have predicted the utter carnage that laid in wait for them in that decrepit little building. Still…

“We don’t know that she was the one responsible for their deaths,” Jenna insisted.

“The hell we don’t! You saw her today! She almost _killed_ that man.” This last part was a hiss and Jenna resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

“She wasn’t going to kill him, Belle.”

“She had him by the throat!”

Well… maybe _that_ was true, too. The girl certainly wasn’t shy when it came to using a weapon and hadn’t hesitated when some scam artist tricked Jenna out of a few dozen caps. She had knocked the man off his feet in the blink of an eye and had her rusty knife digging into his neck before Belle and Jenna could pull their _own_ weapons out!

“But he didn’t die, did he?” Jenna started to dig through the campfire pack at their feet- anything to avoid meeting Belle’s narrowed brown eyes.

“Because we pulled her off just in time! I don’t understand why you’re defending her. Truth of the matter is, we don’t _know_ her. She could be anybody!”

Jenna wrenched a dented package of Cram out of the sack and grimaced. She wasn’t sure which she found more disagreeable- the pre-war ‘meal’ or Belle’s words. While she worked on prying the metal can open with their last clean knife, she peered at the girl across the way. She was rather tiny and Jenna had a feeling that it had been a while since the girl had a steady supply of food- at least, if the way she devoured every meal was any indication. She insisted on wearing the same worn outfit they had found her in but she did accept Jenna’s offer to help brush out the tangled mess that was her short blonde hair. So while Jenna couldn’t refute Belle’s words entirely, she also didn’t believe that the small, scraggly silhouette on the edge of their camp was dangerous- at least to them. 

“Exactly. She could be _anybody_ , including a victim. You’re writing her off way too quickly, Belle. I mean, just think,” and she finally met her lover’s eyes, “if you had been so suspicious of me when we first met, we wouldn’t be together now.”

Belle slumped and now she was the one breaking eye contact. “You didn’t go around killing people,” she muttered, her argument half-hearted now.

Jenna smiled and reached up, brushing a stray piece of dark hair back behind Belle’s ear. “As far as we know, neither did she. Now help me eat this crap before I decide starving to death is my better option.”

Belle grimaced and plugged her nose with one hand, reaching for the can of Cram with the other, before they both burst into laughter.

“How much longer?” Jenna grumbled from the rear of the group. They had been making their way west through the Wasteland for what felt like weeks now and while walking was in the job description when traveling with Belle, her feet were starting to ache even when she _wasn’t_ moving!

“Probably no more than a day or two more,” Belle said, pausing to check the Pip-Boy on her wrist, more out of reflex than anything else. _Not that the damn thing would help them much_ , Jenna thought. The ‘super computer’ still couldn’t register that anything was this far from the city at all, let alone point them in the right direction. She had told Belle the device was broken ages ago now but Belle couldn’t bear to part with it long enough for Moira to actually repair it. “At least, I think. The note said…”

Jenna dropped her pack as Belle fiddled with the bulky machine and screwed up her eyes, trying- and failing- to get a better look into the distance. Unable to spot even the outline of a building, she sighed. “Time for a break.”

“You’re only delaying us more,” Belle pointed out but she came to stand next to Jenna anyway, offering up her water bottle. Jenna just waved off her comment, closing her eyes and relishing the taste of the clean water on her tongue.

It wasn’t so long ago that finding any clean water out in the Wasteland was a struggle; but that fight had been won months ago when they had worked with the Brotherhood of Steel to finish setting up the giant water purifier in D.C. Belle had given everything to get Project Purity functioning.

You could hardly tell looking at her now that only three months ago, she had been irradiated to the point of death; that her heart had actually stopped beating, that she had been dead in Jenna’s arms. She still didn’t know how they had managed to bring Belle back- in her experience, once someone was dead they tended to stay that way- but when Doctor Li had shown her Belle’s living, breathing form, Jenna had been too overwhelmed with relief to question it. Now, Belle was almost completely back to her old self-

She was brought out of her reverie when Belle turned to their newest traveling companion and said, loudly, “So what do we call you?”

Jenna frowned, lowering the bottle from her lip. The girl looked up, startled to be addressed. Belle usually didn’t bother trying to make conversation with her.

“Belle-” Jenna began.

“Oh, come on! I just asked her name. You do have a name, don’t you?” 

She couldn’t look any more different from Belle. Where Belle had her arms crossed in front of her chest and an eyebrow raised at the squirming girl, their new comrade in arms had one hand in her pocket, eyes pointedly aimed at the ground. She was nowhere close to the intimidating figure that Belle made and it just made her actions of the previous day- the attack on that scam artist- seem even more baffling. She looked so out of place and, if it was obvious to Jenna that the girl was uncomfortable, it had to be glaring to Belle- but still she pressed on.

“Debra? Suzy? Give me something to work with,” Belle said.

The girl didn’t say a word, only shook her head. She never really said much and Jenna was pretty sure she had never uttered a word in Belle’s presence. Jenna was just about to tell Belle to lay off, sure that she would listen to her if she could only get a word in edgewise, when Belle took a step closer to the girl whose free hand was a fist at her side.

“Beverly? Lucy? If you don’t tell me, I’m going to have to come up with something myself.”

The girl just stared at her, that fist clenched tight. _Oh, don’t hit her, please._

“Helen, maybe? No… Millicent? Milly… Yes, I can see that.” Belle smiled, though it wasn’t the soft smile that she gave Jenna just after waking in the morning or the wide grin she had demonstrated by the campfire last night. It was more like a smirk, more mocking than any look she had ever flashed Jenna.

“Belle, you can’t just _name_ her,” Jenna said, brows knitted together.

“Why not? Not like she’ll tell us what her name actually is. Besides, you don’t mind, do you?” Belle asked the girl, uncrossing her arms and taking another step towards her.

The girl’s hand was still curled into a fist and Jenna thought, for just a second, that she was actually going to take a swing at Belle; then she relaxed her hand, averted her eyes, and nodded.

“There, see! Now let’s get moving.” With that, Belle had returned to the front of the group, starting off once more to the west.

Jenna exchanged a look with ‘Milly’, though she couldn’t quite decipher the girl’s expression, and then picked up her pack- trailing after Belle as always.

It was late afternoon when they finally spotted a large structure in the distance. Belle and Jenna were walking side by side now, guns at the ready, with Milly close behind.

“This is it?” Jenna asked. “I have to admit, I was picturing something a little… different.”

“You can tell what it is?” Belle squinted, one hand coming up to push the hair out of her eyes. “I’ve never seen a building like that before.”

Jenna honestly couldn’t say she had either. It was a small brick building that was definitely pre-war, no more than two stories wide, next to a large grey… silo? It wasn’t exactly clear from a distance but she knew that while the thing was cylindrical like a silo, it was nowhere near as tall. She was at a loss as to what the thing could possibly be. There also appeared to be a walkway a little ways above the building, on level with the grey structure, only noticeable from a distance because of its bright yellow color. As they marched forward, she found herself trying to puzzle out what the structure could have possibly been used for two hundred years ago. She distantly heard Belle saying something about staying on guard and tried to regain her focus, keeping her gun at the ready as the trio approached the old building.

After another twenty minutes of walking, Jenna stopped them.

“Did you see that? Guy with a gun top left,” she pointed towards the yellow walkway at the top of the building.

“Shit. The note didn’t mention anything about armed guards,” Belle said. The figure was pacing the walkway and didn’t seem to see them but she pulled their group behind a large stack of boulders anyways. “You think we’re too late?”

“Only one way to find out,” Jenna said, eyes alight with excitement. She always got like this before fights much to Belle’s chagrin. She couldn’t help it; the rush of adrenaline she felt when she had her weapon in hand-

“Okay, slow down. Do we take Milly?” All eyes turned towards the girl.

Milly nodded just as Jenna said, “No.”

Belle and Jenna exchanged a look, Belle arching a brow. “Milly, it’s going to be dangerous,” Jenna said. “They have _guns_ and you’ve hardly seen any combat. You could be killed!” Tackling scam artists aside, Jenna wasn’t quite sure what exactly Milly could do in a fight and right now didn’t seem like the time to test her abilities.

Milly shook her head. She pointed to herself, then the building, and crossed her arms. 

“Milly, we can’t just-” Belle began but Milly reached a hand out and flicked her on the forehead, completely dumbfounding the self-proclaimed hero of the Wastes.

“Did you just…?” Belle couldn’t even finish her sentence as Jenna burst into a fit of laughter.

Milly once again gestured to herself, then the building. She was completely clear. She was going.

“This isn’t smart,” Jenna warned.

Milly just smiled, thinly.

“Whatever. Let’s just do this thing,” Belle said, stepping out from behind the boulder and taking her old metal bat in hand.

Turns out the brick building was a factory of sorts- smaller than many of the industrial buildings she had been in before- but a factory nonetheless. It was quickly determined that the area was occupied by raiders when their approach was met with a loud burst of gunfire.

Belle and Jenna had incapacitated everyone on the ground floor rather easily. The men had atrocious aim, missing every shot and leaving themselves wide open for Belle’s punishing blow or Jenna’s well-placed bullet. It was… odd.

“I’m starting to think they were expecting us,” Belle said, ducking behind a large yellow machine as gunfire once again resounded throughout the building.

“Bit paranoid, don’t you think?” Jenna called, returning the fire before ducking back underneath a stalled conveyor belt.

“You think they’re this shit at firing and actually got the drop on whoever sent the note?”

Jenna only grunted, taking careful aim with her pistol and hitting the last gunmen in his unprotected shoulder. She smiled, briefly, as he dropped to the ground with a grunt, gun dropping from the small second floor walkway where the man had been stationed. He wasn’t going to be a problem anymore.

Belle emerged from her hiding place, Milly right on her heels. The young girl started when one of the men at Jenna’s feet twitched and drew her knife.

“Wait! Milly, what are you doing?” Jenna called and the girl’s eyes went wide.

Milly gestured to the man, knife still in hand and eyebrows raised.

Belle shook her head. “We don’t kill. Just knock them out, do what we need to, and go,” she said.

Milly looked inquiringly at Jenna and she gave the girl a tiny smile. “Maybe not the smartest move in the long run but it’s the way we do things. The Wasteland hasn’t taken this from us.” Jenna glanced at Belle. “At least, not yet.”

Belle looked at her briefly, her mouth a thin line, and Milly slowly sheathed her knife. “We don’t have all day,” Belle said. “Let’s finish this.”

_Belle's POV:_

“Just stay close to me,” Belle whispered, bat at the ready as if she were at home plate and Butch Deloria was about to throw his infamous curveball.

Milly nodded as she climbed up the stairs leading from the factory interior and to the yellow walkway, knife clenched tightly in her hand. Jenna brought up the rear, pistol raised and eyes roving.

Immediately, they were met with a shout of surprise. Milly turned toward the sound, taking off towards the man on the right of the walkway. Belle took off to the left, towards a group of two individuals, bat primed and ready.

A swift crack to the knees eliminated the lead pipe-wielding woman from the fight, her shriek of agony quickly silenced by a boot to the face. Belle had just turned to face her second combatant when a scream grabbed her attention. _Jenna._ The man had a gun aimed for Belle’s head but he was too close. With a well-placed kick and a swing of her bat, he too was dropping to the ground.

Belle sprinted toward the right end of the walkway where a second man was standing over the edge of the grey cylinder. What could have been mistaken for a silo at first glance was actually a vat of some kind. She could see a pair of hands clinging to the metallic side and hear the short, distressed breathing echo around them. She wasted no time, butting the man in the head with the base of her bat then scrambling to the side, clutching at the pair of hands desperately.

It was Milly, eyes that panicked wide they always seemed to be, but now her mouth was open too letting out a bloodcurdling scream of terror. She grasped madly at the serrated edge of the vat, at Belle’s bloody hands, anything she could get a grip on.

“It’s okay, Milly. I’ve got you,” Belle said. “Jenna, come give me a hand! I promise I’ve got you. We’re gonna get you out of this, alright?” Belle murmured reassurances to the terrified young girl even as she stared at the bottom of the vat. Well, the _lack_ of a bottom, really.

It looked like it had been melted through and it was easy to see why! There were several barrels with radiation warnings at the bottom, lots of them cracked, and a flood of glowing green goo. She felt sick just looking at it- not to mention the height of the vat… it would be an awfully long fall and would almost certainly result in injury, if not outright death.

She needed to get Milly out of there now. “Jenna! Give me a hand here!” she called, hands starting to sweat and muscles starting to ache from the effort of holding the girl up.

“I’m afraid she’s a bit occupied right now.”

Belle’s blood ran cold. She looked up and there she saw them. Just beside the staircase were two men and in between, with a gun to her head and a knife at her throat, was Jenna. A hand wrapped tightly in her long red hair, dragging her head back to expose her neck, and a dirty rag forced in her mouth so Belle couldn’t have heard her cry of alarm. _No._

“Let her go,” Belle croaked, eyes focused solely on Jenna.

“We’ll cut you a deal,” the man with the knife said from his position behind the struggling girl. She recognized him- the man she had just fought minutes ago on the other end of the walkway. “Drop the kid and we’ll give you your girl.”

Jenna immediately gave a muffled shout under the gag but the knife pressed closer to the exposed skin of her neck and cut the cry short. Bloody rivulets dripped down Jenna’s throat and all Belle could do was watch as Jenna widened her eyes and clutched ever tighter at the hands holding her captive.

“How did you know she was my girl?” She was desperately trying to buy time but for what she didn’t know. She didn’t have a ranged weapon- Jenna’s pistol likely kicked halfway down the stairs in her struggle. No one knew where they were besides Milly, who was still clinging to Belle’s sweaty palms, whimpering in fear. There was no help to be had, no plan to be made, but she just… _needed more time._

“Call it a hunch,” the guy with the gun said from beside Jenna, eyes focused intensely on the grip Belle and Milly shared. This was the man Milly had drawn her knife on in the factory, the one Jenna had defended. _We should have killed him when we had the chance_ , she thought, bitterly. 

“This was a set up,” she said.

“Bingo! Cynthia sends her regards.” The man with the knife winked and her lip curled.

“Cynthia set this up? But why-”

“I don’t get paid to ask why. Now you’ve got a choice to make. Let’s just focus on that,” Knife guy said.

“If I drop her, she’ll die,” Belle said, voice hard. She could feel Milly’s grasp strengthen that much tighter at her words. She was surprised the girl could even hear the conversation over her own terrified screaming.

“That’s kind of the point,” Gun man laughed.

Belle looked at Jenna. Her eyes were large and beseeching, her jaw set. It was obvious what she wanted Belle to do; but this was Jenna they were talking about. Jenna, the woman who hated Cram with a passion. Jenna, the woman who stood up for a complete stranger -who wouldn’t even share their name- just because she _might_ be in trouble. Jenna, who is the only person Belle has left in the entire world.

She let go of Milly’s hands.

The shriek of panic and sheer dread was loud but brief and within seconds, there was no sound at all emanating from the vat.

Muffled shouts came from the gagged woman but even those were quick to dissipate as the knife pressed ever deeper into the skin of her neck. Belle could barely bring herself to meet Jenna’s eyes and when she finally worked up the courage, she was met with a horrified _glare_ , those brown eyes she loved so much quickly filling with tears. Belle had to turn away.

“Well, now… It looks like the boss was right. You really would do anything for the people you love,” Knife guy said, a smile playing at his lips. “Too bad you don’t have anyone you love anymore.” And with that, he had slit Jenna’s throat.

“NO!” Belle screamed, lunging forward.

Jenna’s eyes were impossibly wide as she collapsed in a heap on the ground, the men finally letting her go.

Bat retrieved hastily from the walkway, Belle charged. She managed to catch the man with the gun off-guard. Too busy laughing it up with his pal to prepare for the bat that cracked his ribcage and the hasty kick that knocked him down the stairs. As he crashed through the factory, Belle turned her attention to Jenna’s killer. The man slashed at her with his knife, managing to get a knick or two in. She cried out but, with grim determination, quickly returned the favor tenfold. She swung her bat as hard as she could at the man’s face and closed her eyes at the spray of blood that bathed her.

She didn’t bother confirming the kill; Belle had more pressing concerns. The girl fell to her knees over Jenna’s pale, lifeless form, carelessly tossing her bloody bat aside. Despite knowing what she’d find, what she’d seen, Belle still found herself checking the red-head over for a pulse or breath sounds or _anything_ that would allow Belle to disprove her profound fear that Jenna was…

She found nothing.

 _Not you too_ , Belle thought, as she clutched the bloody corpse to her chest and wailed.

Night faded into day and day faded into night but Belle stayed where she was, arms wrapped tight around a dead weight. She had cried herself out that first night, sobbing into the bloody neck of her betrothed until she forced herself to her feet, compelled to confirm the deaths of Jenna’s killers and to finish off anyone dumb enough to remain in the factory.

But that was the first night. Now she just stared into the distance, silently, eyes red but dry. She hadn’t left Jenna’s side since, protecting her in death where she couldn’t in life.

She couldn’t come to terms with the fact that she was alone now- well and truly alone. The man on the radio, Three Dog, had taken to calling her the Lone Wanderer when referencing the plethora of good deeds she had performed out in the Wastes. She never knew why he had chosen the moniker for her and she had never asked. Why ruin the mystery? When her dad died- killed himself, really- she thought she finally understood the nickname. After months of searching, coming so _close_ to being reunited with her father and finding only the remnants of his presence, Belle finally located the man only to lose him again after just a few short days. She had never felt so alone as she did staring at her dad’s dead body sealed in that fucking water purifier. It was Jenna who saved her, her and everyone else her dad had managed to convince to help him with Project Purity. Jenna, who took over for Belle- defended the small team from the enemy soldiers, attended the meetings with the Brotherhood, _everything_. Jenna, who helped Belle understand that she wasn’t alone, that she still had someone who cared for her- reminded her of that over and over and over again until eventually she didn’t even have to say it anymore.

There was no Jenna to remind her of that now- not even a Milly to distract her or keep her from wallowing in despair just as she had done when her dad had first died. She was truly alone now and it was all her fault.

When Belle next opened her eyes, she couldn’t quite place what had woken her. That is, until the groan came again.

Belle immediately sat up and felt at Jenna’s neck, her wrist, even putting her ear to the woman’s chest, hoping beyond hope that the noise had come from her.

Nothing. The sound was coming from somewhere behind her. It didn’t take her long to figure out it was coming from the vat; the vat where she had dropped Milly.

 _Milly._ Belle scrambled to her feet and through the factory doors, down the stairs and back outside where she finally fell to her knees and crawled towards the moaning figure curled up against the glow. Nevermind the fact that the radiation made her skin tingle, made her want to curl up and die herself. Milly was still alive and she would stop at nothing to rescue her.

It took a few minutes- and a short break to vomit- but eventually Belle managed to drag the girl out from the irradiated pit and into the foyer of the old factory. Milly was unconscious but Belle did a quick exam, confirming that she suffered from nothing more than a couple scrapes and bruises.

Odd. A fall that far should have resulted in several broken bones if not _death_ \- not to mention the past who knows how many days Milly spent practically stewing in radiation. There’s no way that the girl should be alive right now. Unless…

No. She wouldn’t even consider it. She would just… wait for Milly to wake up then everything would be fine. It had to be.

It wasn’t two hours later that saw both Belle and Milly next to Jenna’s corpse, Milly still out cold. Belle hadn’t wanted to leave the body unprotected for long and so, after several doses of Rad-Away, she had dragged the unconscious girl up the stairs and into the chilly Wasteland night.

The girl looked peaceful as she slept, nothing like she normally did, those wide eyes and clenched fists nothing but a bad dream now. Looking at her slumbering form, Belle felt silly for her earlier suspicions that the girl was a threat to them. She knew now that the only threat to their safety had been Belle herself.

She had dropped Milly to what she had thought was her death all to save Jenna’s life. _How well that had worked out_ , she thought, glancing at Jenna’s corpse, tears welling in her eyes once more. What Belle couldn’t quite figure out is how Milly had managed to survive and with only minimal injuries. That much radiation should have killed the girl within minutes, nevermind the fact that it had been _days_! Not to mention the height at which Milly had fallen- if the radiation didn’t do her in, the fall should have. At the very least, Belle should have seen some broken bones but there was nothing except superficial scrapes and minimal bruising. It didn’t make any sense. Well...

But Belle couldn’t be at fault for _that_ too. No, she had to be missing something. That’s it.

Belle had begun to wonder if the girl would ever wake up or if this was some kind of coma, for which she was particularly ill-equipped, when Milly finally- _finally_ \- stirred.

She mumbled a bit- something about a father- before her eyes opened fully... and she started backwards in terror.

“You get used to it after a while,” Belle said, eyes focused on Milly as she stared, one hand over her mouth, at Jenna’s body. “At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.”

Milly turned to Belle, that wide-eyed stare she had started to miss returning to the girl’s face.

“Just be glad you’re still alive, right?” Belle joked though the words sounded hollow even to her ears.

“You…” Milly began, voice hoarse and croaky; _from going so long without speaking or all the screaming?_ Belle wondered. She cleared her throat and began again. “You… dropped me.”

“Yes,” Belle said, finally having to look away from those large green eyes.

_“Why?”_

“It was you or her. And I really thought they would let her go...” Belle trailed off before taking a deep breath and reciting the line she’d been practicing all day, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?! You-” Milly started.

“I know you’re upset. I know what I did was fucked up beyond words but… Milly, _please_. I-I can’t do this on my own. I don’t know how to-”

“You really think I’m still going to follow you? After you _dropped me to my death?!_ ” Milly got to her feet and Belle quickly followed suit.

“I know you have absolutely no reason to come with me, let alone trust me, but I can make this up to you! I just… I can’t do this without _her_ . Please. _Please!_ ”

“What is _wrong_ with you?!”

“Milly-”

“Stop calling me that! That’s not my name!”

“Then what is your name?”

The girl didn’t respond, just scowled menacingly at her almost-killer, nails digging into the skin of her palms so hard Belle was sure she must be bleeding.

“That’s not a name.” Belle managed a shaky smile.

“You think this is a joke?” Milly said, eyes narrowed and practically radiating heat with the intensity of her glare. “You let go of me, knowing that I could have died, and now you want me to follow you around the Wasteland so what, you can kill me again?! No!”

“It would only be for a little while and I could… I could pay you! I know you don’t have much-”

“I could just take Jenna’s stuff. Doesn’t look like she’ll be needing it anytime soon,” Milly spat.

 _Ouch._ Belle continued on as if she hadn’t heard the girl’s biting remark. “I’ll take you to the nearest settlement, help you pick up the essentials, and then we can go our separate ways. You’ll never have to see me again. Just… please, stay for a little bit longer.”

Milly bit her lip, brow furrowed as she stared at Belle. Belle stayed perfectly still, not wanting to give the girl yet another reason to ditch her.

Finally, after what felt like hours, Milly sighed and her expression cleared. Well, for the most part- Belle didn’t think that bitter look in her eyes was going _anywhere_ anytime soon. “Fine,” she muttered. “But I’m watching you. You so much as look at me threateningly and _I’ll_ kill _you_.”

The corner of Belle’s lip twitched but she didn’t dare smile. She extended a hand.

Milly eyed it warily but in the end, she shook on it. _No blood_ , Belle noticed. _Huh._

“Just let me check the map and grab a few things and we’ll be good to go,” Belle said.

Milly only nodded and, just as she was about to turn around and give Belle a welcome reprieve, frowned and looked past Jenna’s dead body. “What happened to the gunmen?” she asked, though something in her tone told Belle she already knew.

“I killed them,” she admitted, like it was simple, like she did it all the time.

“But I thought you were against killing-”

“That was before I lost my fiancée.” Milly glanced at Jenna, looked as if she was about to say something more, but it was Belle who turned away this time.

Milly sighed again and Belle heard her footsteps getting farther and farther away. Belle took a deep breath and then she got to her knees beside Jenna.

“I love you,” she whispered, brushing her once-radiant red hair out of her face and placing a chaste kiss on her cold cheek. “I will _never_ forget you.” She slowly slid her mother’s wedding ring off the stiff finger and got to her feet, quickly wiping the tears from her eyes.

It took her a minute or so to regain her composure but when she did, Milly made her way to Belle’s side. She looked uncomfortable and kept her distance but it was something. Maybe one day Belle would be able to shorten that distance, regain some of the girl’s trust; though judging from the hand full of hair and the dawning look of horror on her face, Belle doubted that day would come soon.

She fiddled with the Pip-Boy on her wrist, pretending to set a course to the city- nevermind the fact that the damn thing had stopped working months ago. She would have to get rid of it eventually but it made a good buffer for now- something she desperately needed. When she finally looked up from the busted gadget, a set of comforting lies was already forming on her lips to placate the girl. She started down the factory stairs, intent on making her way west once more, Milly trailing hesitantly behind.

If it hadn’t been for Milly, Belle never would have gotten back on her feet. She had planned to stay at Jenna’s side forever and she did mean _forever;_ but that was when she was alone. Now she had Milly, now she had hope. She wasn’t about to let that go. It was all she had left.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a continuation but an alternate ending in which Jenna doesn't die but decides to leave. Picks up in the middle of the first part when they enter the factory.

“Just stay close to me,” Belle whispered, bat at the ready as if she were at home plate and Butch Deloria was about to throw his infamous curveball.

Milly nodded as she climbed up the stairs leading from the factory interior and to the yellow walkway, knife clenched tightly in her hand. Jenna brought up the rear, pistol raised and eyes roving.

Immediately, they were met with a shout of surprise. Milly turned toward the sound, taking off towards the man on the right of the walkway. Belle took off to the left, towards a group of two individuals, bat primed and ready.

A swift crack to the knees eliminated the lead pipe-wielding woman from the fight, her shriek of agony quickly silenced by a boot to the face. Belle had just turned to face her second combatant when a scream grabbed her attention. _Jenna._ The man had a gun aimed for Belle’s head but he was too close. With a well-placed kick and a swing of her bat, he too was dropping to the ground.

Belle sprinted toward the right end of the walkway where a second man was standing over the edge of the grey cylinder. What could have been mistaken for a silo at first glance was actually a vat of some kind. She could see a pair of hands clinging to the metallic side and hear the short, distressed breathing echo around them. She wasted no time, butting the man in the head with the base of her bat then scrambling to the side, clutching at the pair of hands desperately.

It was Milly, eyes that panicked wide they always seemed to be, but now her mouth was open too letting out a bloodcurdling scream of terror. She grasped madly at the serrated edge of the vat, at Belle’s bloody hands, anything she could get a grip on.

“It’s okay, Milly. I’ve got you,” Belle said. “Jenna, come give me a hand! I promise I’ve got you. We’re gonna get you out of this, alright?” Belle murmured reassurances to the terrified young girl even as she stared at the bottom of the vat. Well, the _lack_ of a bottom, really.

It looked like it had been melted through and it was easy to see why! There were several barrels with radiation warnings at the bottom, lots of them cracked, and a flood of glowing green goo. She felt sick just looking at it- not to mention the height of the vat… it would be an awfully long fall and would almost certainly result in injury, if not outright death.

She needed to get Milly out of there now. “Jenna! Give me a hand here!” she called, hands starting to sweat and muscles starting to ache from the effort of holding the girl up.

“I’m afraid she’s a bit occupied right now.”

Belle’s blood ran cold. She looked up and there she saw them. Just beside the staircase were two men and in between, with a gun to her head and a knife at her throat, was Jenna. A hand wrapped tightly in her long red hair, dragging her head back to expose her neck, and a dirty rag forced in her mouth so Belle couldn’t have heard her cry of alarm. _No._

“Let her go,” Belle croaked, eyes focused solely on Jenna.

“We’ll cut you a deal,” the man with the knife said from his position behind the struggling girl. She recognized him- the man she had just fought minutes ago on the other end of the walkway. “Drop the kid and we’ll give you your girl.”

Jenna immediately gave a muffled shout under the gag but the knife pressed closer to the exposed skin of her neck and cut the cry short. Bloody rivulets dripped down Jenna’s throat and all Belle could do was watch as Jenna widened her eyes and clutched ever tighter at the hands holding her captive.

“How did you know she was my girl?” She was desperately trying to buy time but for what she didn’t know. She didn’t have a ranged weapon- Jenna’s pistol likely kicked halfway down the stairs in her struggle. No one knew where they were besides Milly, who was still clinging to Belle’s sweaty palms, whimpering in fear. There was no help to be had, no plan to be made, but she just… _needed more time._

“Call it a hunch,” the guy with the gun said from beside Jenna, eyes focused intensely on the grip Belle and Milly shared. This was the man Milly had drawn her knife on in the factory, the one Jenna had defended. _We should have killed him when we had the chance_ , she thought, bitterly. 

“This was a set up,” she said.

“Bingo! Cynthia sends her regards.” The man with the knife winked and her lip curled.

“Cynthia set this up? But why-”

“I don’t get paid to ask why. Now you’ve got a choice to make. Let’s just focus on that,” Knife guy said.

“If I drop her, she’ll die,” Belle said, voice hard. She could feel Milly’s grasp strengthen that much tighter at her words. She was surprised the girl could even hear the conversation over her own terrified screaming.

“That’s kind of the point,” Gun man laughed.

Belle looked at Jenna. Her eyes were large and beseeching, her jaw set. It was obvious what she wanted Belle to do; but this was Jenna they were talking about. Jenna, the woman who hated Cram with a passion. Jenna, the woman who stood up for a complete stranger -who wouldn’t even share their name- just because she _might_ be in trouble. Jenna, who is the only person Belle has left in the entire world.

She let go of Milly’s hands.

The shriek of panic and sheer dread was loud but brief and within seconds, there was no sound at all emanating from the vat.

Muffled shouts came from the gagged woman but even those were quick to dissipate as the knife pressed ever deeper into the skin of her neck. Belle could barely bring herself to meet Jenna’s eyes and when she finally worked up the courage, she was met with a horrified _glare_ , those brown eyes she loved so much quickly filling with tears. Belle had to turn away.

“Well, now… It looks like the boss was right. You really would do anything for the people you love,” Knife guy said, a smile playing at his lips.

“I did what you want,” she spat, “let her go.”

Knife guy shrugged and the pair withdrew their weapons. Gun man gave Jenna a shove forward, pushing her to her knees, and Belle braced herself for the betrayal. The gunshot that would steal the breath from her lover’s lungs and leave Belle with yet another dead body to bury but it never came. The men simply walked through the factory door without another word, leaving the girls to their quarrel.

“Are you okay?” Belle asked, extending a hand towards the trembling figure in front of her.

Jenna pushed her hand away.

“Jen-”

“You killed her,” she said, and when Belle was finally able to bring herself to meet her lover’s eyes, all she saw was hate.

“To save you!” She felt sick, like the bottom of her stomach had dropped out and took her heart with it. She knew from the look in Jenna’s eyes, from the way she refused Belle’s touch, from the hiss of her voice that this wasn’t going to be one of their typical fights. A few sweet words and a tender kiss wasn’t going to change any minds.

“You killed her. _Her!_ An innocent person who I promised we’d do _everything_ to protect! What…” Jenna was on her feet now, one hand pushing her blood-red hair out of her face, the other pointing accusingly at Belle. “What the fuck? What is wrong with you?! _Why_ would you do that when I specifically asked you not to?”

“What, was I supposed to just let them kill _you_ instead? The choice was simple. You, the love of my life, or some stranger we barely know! You would do the same!” Belle looked down at the vat when she said this, at the body of the girl she had dubbed Milly what felt like a lifetime ago. The girl she had killed. She had thought it would feel different, taking the life of another person. She had thought it would ruin her, that she would feel the most immense guilt and be unable to even move… but she felt fine. Maybe it was because it was an act of love, not hate, that killed Milly. Maybe…

“I would _never_ do this. How could you even think that? I practically begged you to save her over me! I… Belle you _killed_ her.” Jenna looked like she was going to be sick.

Belle knew the feeling. “You would save the stranger we found in a church of _bodies_ over me? Me?!”

“Yes! A thousand times, yes! Because we talked about this! Months ago, we talked about this! We agreed that it was innocent’s over each other always! We _agreed_!” She was in Belle’s face now, so close she could feel Jenna’s spit hit her eye.

“Easy for you to say when you never had to make that choice!” Belle put a hand on Jenna’s shoulder, gripped it tight.

Jenna knocked her hand aside and took several steps back. “You don’t even feel sorry, do you? You really don’t think you did anything wrong.” This last part wasn’t a question, but a statement so heavy-handed even Belle stumbled back.

She knew what she was supposed to say, what Jenna wanted to hear. She knew she could make this all go away if she just admitted guilt. Jenna would forgive her, she always forgave her.

“I do feel bad. I _do_ ,” she said, and Jenna took a step closer, her eyes wet. “But I would do it again.”

That stopped Jenna in her tracks. “You… what?”

“To save you? I’d do it over and over and over again.”

“Fuck you,” she whispered, hand swiping at her eyes. “ _Fuck_ you! I can’t believe you! You know how much this means to me! You… oh, god is this how you felt the whole time?! I-” Jenna wouldn’t meet Belle’s eyes, too busy tugging at the ring on her finger.

“What are you doing?” Belle asked, afraid to hear the answer.

“What does it look like? I’m-” and with this, her hand was finally free of Belle’s mother’s ring. “I’m breaking off our engagement.” She all but threw the ring into Belle’s outstretched hands, effectively preventing Belle from grabbing onto Jenna.

“What?!”

“You killed an innocent person, Belle. I know you believe you did what you had to but… I can’t… I can’t compromise my morals like that. I couldn’t live with myself if I… Well, you get the picture.” And with that, Jenna started walking away.

As she stooped to collect her discarded pistol, Belle distantly heard herself cry out, “Where are you going?”

Jenna spared her one last glance, tears finally spilling over. “I’m going to make sure Sarah’s sacrifice wasn’t in vain.”

As she walked through the factory doors, Belle fell to her knees, her own cheeks wet with tears.

Night faded into day and day faded into night but Belle stayed where she was, hand clenched tight around her mother’s wedding ring- Jenna’s engagement ring. She had cried herself out that first night, sobbing into her scarred hands, marks from Milly’s desperate grasp still evident on her skin.

But that was the first night. Now she just stared into the distance, silently, eyes red but dry. She hadn’t left the walkway once, hoping against hope that Jenna would see the error of her ways, change her mind, _come back_ for her.

She couldn’t come to terms with the fact that she was alone now- well and truly alone. The man on the radio, Three Dog, had taken to calling her the Lone Wanderer when referencing the plethora of good deeds she had performed out in the Wastes. She never knew why he had chosen the moniker for her and she had never asked. Why ruin the mystery? When her dad died- killed himself, really- she thought she finally understood the nickname. After months of searching, coming so _close_ to being reunited with her father and finding only the remnants of his presence, Belle finally located the man only to lose him again after just a few short days. She had never felt so alone as she did staring at her dad’s dead body sealed in that fucking water purifier. It was Jenna who saved her, her and everyone else her dad had managed to convince to help him with Project Purity. Jenna, who took over for Belle- defended the small team from the enemy soldiers, attended the meetings with the Brotherhood, _everything_. Jenna, who helped Belle understand that she wasn’t alone, that she still had someone who cared for her- reminded her of that over and over and over again until eventually she didn’t even have to say it anymore.

There was no Jenna to remind her of that now- not even a Milly to distract her or keep her from wallowing in despair just as she had done when her dad had first died. She was truly alone now and it was all her fault.

When Belle next opened her eyes, she couldn’t quite place what had woken her. That is, until the groan came again.

The sound was coming from somewhere behind her. It didn’t take her long to figure out it was coming from the vat; the vat where she had dropped Milly.

 _Milly._ Belle scrambled to her feet and through the factory doors, down the stairs and back outside where she finally fell to her knees and crawled towards the moaning figure curled up against the glow. Nevermind the fact that the radiation made her skin tingle, made her want to curl up and die herself. Milly was still alive and she would stop at nothing to rescue her.

It took a few minutes- and a short break to vomit- but eventually Belle managed to drag the girl out from the irradiated pit and into the foyer of the old factory. Milly was unconscious but Belle did a quick exam, confirming that she suffered from nothing more than a couple scrapes and bruises.

Odd. A fall that far should have resulted in several broken bones if not _death_ \- not to mention the past who knows how many days Milly spent practically stewing in radiation. There’s no way that the girl should be alive right now. Unless…

No. She wouldn’t even consider it. She would just… wait for Milly to wake up then everything would be fine. It had to be.

It wasn’t two hours later that saw both Belle and Milly out on the yellow walkway, Milly still out cold. Belle hadn’t wanted to leave the area for long- still distantly hoping Jenna would return- and so, after several doses of Rad-Away, she had dragged the unconscious girl up the stairs and into the chilly Wasteland night.

The girl looked peaceful as she slept, nothing like she normally did, those wide eyes and clenched fists nothing but a bad dream now. Looking at her slumbering form, Belle felt silly for her earlier suspicions that the girl was a threat to them. She knew now that the only threat to their safety had been Belle herself.

She had dropped Milly to what she had thought was her death all to save Jenna’s life. _How well that had worked out_ , she thought, glancing at the golden band in her palm, tears welling in her eyes once more. What Belle couldn’t quite figure out is how Milly had managed to survive and with only minimal injuries. That much radiation should have killed the girl within minutes, nevermind the fact that it had been _days_! Not to mention the height at which Milly had fallen- if the radiation didn’t do her in, the fall should have. At the very least, Belle should have seen some broken bones but there was nothing except superficial scrapes and minimal bruising. It didn’t make any sense. Well...

But Belle couldn’t be at fault for _that_ too. No, she had to be missing something. That’s it.

Belle had begun to wonder if the girl would ever wake up or if this was some kind of coma, for which she was particularly ill-equipped, when Milly finally- _finally_ \- stirred.

She mumbled a bit- something about a father- before her eyes opened fully... and she started in terror.

“Bad dream?,” Belle asked.

Milly turned to Belle, that wide-eyed stare she had started to miss frozen on the girl’s face.

“Just be glad you’re still alive, right?” Belle joked though the words sounded hollow even to her ears.

“You…” Milly began, voice hoarse and croaky; _from going so long without speaking or all the screaming?_ Belle wondered. She cleared her throat and began again. “You… dropped me.”

“Yes,” Belle said, finally having to look away from those large green eyes.

_“Why?”_

“It was you or her. And I couldn’t let it be her...” Belle trailed off before taking a deep breath and reciting the line she’d been practicing all day, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?! You-” Milly started.

“I know you’re upset. I know what I did was fucked up beyond words but… Milly, _please_. I-I can’t do this on my own. I don’t know how to-”

“You really think I’m still going to follow you? After you _dropped me to my death?!_ ” Milly got to her feet and Belle quickly followed suit.

“I know you have absolutely no reason to come with me, let alone trust me, but I can make this up to you! I just… I can’t do this without _her_. Please. _Please!_ ”

“What is _wrong_ with you?!”

“Milly-”

“Stop calling me that! That’s not my name!”

“Then what is your name?”

The girl didn’t respond, just scowled menacingly at her would-be-killer, nails digging into the skin of her palms so hard Belle was sure she must be bleeding.

“That’s not a name.” Belle managed a shaky smile.

“You think this is a joke?” Milly said, eyes narrowed and practically radiating heat with the intensity of her glare. “You let go of me, knowing that I could have died, and now you want me to follow you around the Wasteland so what, you can kill me again?! No!”

“It would only be for a little while and I could… I could pay you! I know you don’t have much-”

“Where’s Jenna? At least, she actually seemed to care about me,” Milly spat.

 _Ouch._ “She’s… Jenna’s gone. She… died. But I- I can take you to the nearest settlement, help you pick up the essentials. Then we can go our separate ways. You’ll never have to see me again. Just… please, stay for a little bit longer.”

Milly bit her lip, brow furrowed as she stared at Belle. Belle stayed perfectly still, not wanting to give the girl yet another reason to ditch her.

Finally, after what felt like hours, Milly sighed and her expression cleared. Well, for the most part- Belle didn’t think that bitter look in her eyes was going _anywhere_ anytime soon. “Fine,” she muttered. “But I’m watching you. You so much as look at me threateningly and _I’ll_ kill _you_.”

The corner of Belle’s lip twitched but she didn’t dare smile. She extended a hand.

Milly eyed it warily but in the end, she shook on it. _No blood_ , Belle noticed.

“Just let me check the map and grab a few things and we’ll be good to go,” Belle said.

Milly only nodded and Belle gave a sigh of relief as she heard her footsteps getting farther and farther away. She fiddled with the Pip-Boy on her wrist, pretending to set a course to the city- nevermind the fact that the damn thing had stopped working months ago. She would have to get rid of it eventually but it made a good buffer for now- something she desperately needed. When Milly made her way back to Belle’s side, she looked uncomfortable and kept her distance- but it was something. Maybe one day Belle would be able to shorten that distance, regain some of the girl’s trust; though judging from the hand full of hair and the dawning look of horror on her face, Belle doubted that day would come soon.

When she finally looked up from the busted gadget, a set of comforting lies was already forming on her lips to placate the girl. Jenna was long gone, had broken off their engagement because she believed that Belle was a killer. Now, with Milly at her side and out of that death-trap of a vat, Belle was determined to set things right. She started down the factory stairs, intent on making her way west once more, Milly trailing hesitantly behind.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very self-indulgent but that's the point, right? I was afraid the original ending played into some tropes I didn't like so I wrote this alternate version. It's not exactly what I envisioned but I think it's good enough to at least get the idea of it all out of my head. Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been living in my mind rent-free for years! I'm so glad I finally got to write it though I think if I read through it one more time, my eyes WILL start bleeding! Thank YOU for reading!


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